Why do so many of us spend so much time and energy worrying about our weight? I know I have done, but I realised it needed to stop. That’s not to say those little frets and niggles don’t come creeping back in from time to time – of course they do!
I love and enjoy food and throughout my teens and twenties I didn’t really worry or think too much about what I ate. My metabolism seemed to do a pretty good job of burning up the calories I consumed and as a regular gym-goer who loved exercise I was fit, healthy and living a reasonably well balanced lifestyle.
After I had my child at the age of 31 I didn’t bounce back into shape quickly, and that’s difficult because you look around and judge and compare yourself against others – FACT. I got back into my pre-pregnancy clothes within about 6-12 months, but still carried an extra half stone that would never quite budge around my waist and tummy area.
Today, my son is 11 and I am a stone heavier than before I had them. I’m also 11 years older, post 4 operations, peri menopausal, sleep deprived and running my own business, so y’know I’m aware that I need to give myself a little break.
Except I don’t, or at least I didn’t, for a really long time.
I would still buy clothes, but they tended to be bigger and baggier to cover up where I felt self conscious. I felt unattractive and didnt like looking in the mirror naked. But hang on – but it wasn’t because I carried a little bit of extra weight, I wasn’t valuing or respecting myself and that was why I wasn’t feeling or looking good.
It actually had nothing to do with weight loss and everything to do with self worth. I wasn’t valuing myself and my body enough to lead the healthy lifestyle that I knew would result in me most probably losing a little weight but more importantly feeling good. I also wasn’t valuing myself enough to invest a little in my clothes, make-up or self care.
I was doing the opposite actually as I was depriving myself of the things that bring me joy which sent me further into this pit of low self esteem and feelings that I didn’t deserve to have nice things.
I now try to exercise regularly knowing that I not only feel better but it helps me stay in better shape, I will always love eating and cooking but I now try to eat healthier and think about the food I eat. This is now so important as I want to show my son that you need to take care of yourself, but also help be confident in his own body.
I’m now exercising regularly again and can feel those endorphins whizzing around afterwards leaving me looking forward to the next session.
My journey means I’m also buying clothes again, investing in ‘me’ and do you know what, extra stone or not, they look good!
So to anyone who may be feeling less than fabulous, or thinking that they need to lose weight to look good, feel happy, buy new clothes etc. Stop and think about it from a different perspective.
Value your amazing body and all that it has done for you up to this point.
Treat it well, nourish it with amazing food, challenge it with fresh air and exercise and dress it in items that feel fabulous.