Gone are the days when I used to pack 5 string bikinis in my suitcase, maybe the odd pair of denim shorts or a skirt! Now I focus more on others, namely my family, has my son got all his clothes and entertainment for the flight, has he got enough boxers and his favourite cuddly toy, have we packed the wet wipes and the mozzy spray. You know the drill, my packing or outfit preparation is left to the last minute so I need to be pretty savvy with it.
I am an English rose, well I’m English. I like to think that I am fairly pale and interesting. But by English rose I mean I get freckles in the sunshine, my nose goes red and burns easily without protection. I have talked about body confidence before and I’m sure I will continue to do so as it my profession, after all I am surrounded by women who dislike their own reflection, and yes some of the time I’m not totally in love with the way I look either.
I find that during holiday times it can become even more of an issue. Sure you’re OK when you are at a British seaside resort where you can still hide in jeans and a tshirt or sweater but when you are abroad and you have much more flesh on show? And your slightly pale for the first few days? It can make you feel even more self conscious.
I am currently in beautiful Spain in a gorgeous house with my very own pool, this is my kind of heaven. I can wear what I like and not worry about my mum tum! But even though my son is nearly 10, I am still very aware of that first holiday abroad after you have had a baby and how my confidence was affected.
Even a few years on I remember venturing out of the hotel only to be hit with a whole host of stunning European women. Athletic German Mums, stylish Spanish Mums and for the first few days I found it a little bit overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong. This wasn’t a “woe is me I am fat due to having a baby”. This is a “woe is me why can’t I just get my sh*t together so I don’t have to cover myself up, I should love my mum tum after all it gave me my son.
So I avoided the pool. I sat by the pool. I lounged around in five different beach dresses. I sweated my tits off in swimming cossies. Watching my son frolic about in the pool with his Dad. Cross with myself. Cursing my gene pool for not making me one of those women who is back in her size 10’s immediately after giving birth. But today? I had a change of heart. I was all set to have another day around the pool, dozing in the shade and it dawned on me that my son didn’t ask if I would go in the pool today. Now anyone that knows me will say I am a baby when it comes to cold water, but if anyone will get me in the water it’s my son. Even so young they managed to get the guilt to set in, any mum will know exactly what I’m talking about.
He didn’t bother splashing me when I walked past him in the shallow end. And he didn’t try and aim his water pistol at me. And I thought “F*ck. I’m the ‘mum who won’t go in the pool'”. The one he will moan about when he is older and tell his kids “Oh my Mum would never go in the water she thought she was too fat”. And that bothered me a million more times that what people thought of my tummy and my wobbly bum. So? I got in the pool.
I didn’t dive in. I didn’t run around and scream whilst bombing it down the slides. But I got in. And we had a glorious 45 minutes playing. He was so happy I was there he went down the slide ten times in a row so I could cheer when he was at the bottom. He played catch with me. He laughed with me and? he splashed me. As I had become the Mum that did go in the pool. And whilst I knew I didn’t look like J-Lo or Jennifer Aniston and my bum wobbled a little too much. Not one person vomited when I got in. Not one man covered his and eyes and screamed “GOOD GOD LOOK AT HER!”. As no-one really cares about the way I look bar me.
So whilst I try and work out how to get to grips with my body, I am going to go in the pool a bit more. Hell I may even brave the slide tomorrow.
Now as a Stylist I know so many ways to dress my body to flatter it, and yes with clever dressing I can look thinner and distract from certain areas of my body that Im not so confident of. Im still not a size 10, nor do I wish do be. Yes I would tone up my tummy and I would like to be a little taller, but I wouldnt change who I am now or what I got from that tummy. I wish I had known me 10 years ago.
One of the things women like about me is Im a real women stylist, I am by no means perfect nor do I have a perfect figure. But I have learnt to love it, how to style it and how to wear my best colours.
If you would like to know how to style your bodyshape and feel more confident on holiday then please contact me and book yourself an Image Consultation.